why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
