it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
