Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
