Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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