are you still at the devil's house?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize