sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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