So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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