I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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