Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
