Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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