fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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