Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
