real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
