I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.