dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.