Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Panties = found
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
