I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
