Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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