My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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