they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
