Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
