Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
