My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
