Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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