Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
