I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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