Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
