hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
3pm strippers are depressing
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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