my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
