dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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