everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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