I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
