It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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