It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize