I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
