as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
