just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
