Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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