if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
