you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
