We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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