sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
