i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
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We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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