Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
