I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize