the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They took my balls.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
