So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
