Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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