The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
