we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
