Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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