Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
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They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
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i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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