Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
