I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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