I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
