just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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