Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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