There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
