I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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