i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
