apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
