That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
